By Koh Soo Choon
KOH SOO CHOON (Intercare Partner) has travelled far and lived in many parts of the world. She has worked in cross-cultural missions for many years. Soo Choon is an irrepressible optimist and possesses a huge capacity for life and laughter. She is also a storehouse of tales and testimonies of the love of her Heavenly Father. Read on and get to know her. Some of these responses were in reply to earlier questions asked her by Lim Siew Foong (NECF Malaysia Research Executive) via a survey form. Others are more recent responses. Soo Choon is currently back in Malaysia on home assignment. – Goh Poh Gaik
 On singleness
I have always lived from day to day, regarding each day as a gift. So what I am this season of my life is just that – what I am. Father has not specifically told me that I will be single so life is open-ended, similar to everything else. In a nutshell, singleness is just another part of the equation for my life in this particular place at this particular time.
The difficulties and the challenges
At the workplace I am more accepted as a professional by my non-Christian colleagues than my evangelical brothers. In some cultures it is not acceptable for a woman to be travelling alone and of course, I have to do everything myself but that goes for the single man too.
The advantages
Flexibility! Singles have opportunities to try all kinds of things. We cope with less financial issues. We are able to spend huge chunks of uninterrupted time with God. Compare what we have with a mother who has young children and you get the picture. When the single person arrives in the adopted country, she is able to be a fulltime student in learning a new language and culture.
On the definition of ‘a beautiful woman’
I would prefer to use the term ‘ a beautiful person’ – someone who loves Father with all his/her heart, mind and soul and his/her neighbour as himself/herself. It may sound cryptic but I am discovering more and more that it is very true because we are interconnected beings and we live in community.
Words of encouragement to single women who are struggling through singlehood
Struggles
There will be struggles, especially when we live in a society that regards couples as the norm. We have to recognize that we are sexual beings (but that does not make us sinful). One dear 85-year-old single sister told me that we will have sexual desires until the day we die! In times of loneliness we imagine how great it would be to be married. The grass is always greener on the other side but ask any married sister and she will tell you her struggles in this area.
Consider each day as a gift and live it with open hands. Be willing to experiment and try new things. There are definitely seasons in life, and our struggles will vary in nature and in intensity. Ask God for the gift of a soulmate with whom you can be vulnerable and honest so you can be real even as you pray.
We are special
Women are very special. We have been made in God’s image with special characteristics. Father dreamed of each one of us before we were formed. Think about this – I am unique. There is no one else on earth like me.
Be real
Be completely transparent with the Lord. Express your anger, disappointments, et cetera. ‘Father, teach me to be unifocal and to walk hand in hand with You to discover the me in me and the me in You.’
On contentment and fulfillment
Contentment is enjoying God and bringing Him alongside me as I discover what the gift of each day will bring, be it pain, frustration or exuberance.
The sense of fulfillment varies in each new season of my life. At the moment, it is to work with Father to see the potential of each person He has brought to my path and to become like Him wholistically.
On the most memorable/favourite part of the world stayed in
It is so difficult to pinpoint any one particular country. It is the beauty of the land and the people that has remained vividly in my memory.
To give you an idea… imagine being in the jungles of Papua New Guinea on a moonlit night, sitting across the river and seeing the whole place illumined only by moonlight. Come along with me to a muddy patch that led to the home of blind Bibi. My Afghan coworker had gone to help her as she was due for a hospital visit. I stood at the car and could not believe what I saw: my colleague was piggybacking Bibi and struggling through that muddy patch. And then catch the joy on Bibi’s face when she recovered her sight after the cataracts were removed.
And…round a steep curve and suddenly before me there were rolling hills of gorgeous hues of purple, pink and yellow. God the Master painter was at work! Wild horses were galloping amidst the spring flowers. What a feast for my eyes as I crossed the border between Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan!
On coming back to Malaysia
Children of Central Asia. |
I have been feted, loved and provided for. I am catching up on my reading. I value the freedom and the mobility. I am enjoying times of quiet and beauty – the lush tropical flora and fauna is a balm for the soul. Initially it was difficult to refrain from comparing what we have here with what people are experiencing in other countries and I could have come across as being somewhat critical. Lifestyle differences are still a big issue with me. I find that people in Malaysia spend a lot of time majoring on the minors of life.
Some of the biggest lessons learnt on the mission field
i) In a cluster, here they are:
- I discover who I really am – warts and all
- I have far more inner resources than I could have imagined: these were revealed when I was stretched. Yet in the same breath, I realise I am so small, weak and helpless.
- I have come to view things differently;
- I have become detached from some things I had once thought were essential for living.
- I have learnt ‘God is love’ is not a glib expression. I have seen His love expressed in sweeping movements and in minute, personal details.
- The need to be flexible and have a great sense of humour.
- Our God is a BIG God and He is no man’s debtor
- The importance of a balanced life
- God wants to share so much of Himself; it is up to me to make myself available.
- It is essential to block out times for solitude and meditation
ii) The reason I was born as a Malaysian is that the Malaysian passport has enabled me to enter many countries, especially difficult-to-access ones.
iii) The gift of each new day. Having lived in war-torn zones where there was no guarantee that when I slept I would still be alive the next day. |
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On ministry to singles and their pressing needs
Singles need a place where they can be themselves and be comfortable. There must be an atmosphere of trust and time is needed to build trust. If the church is a community then the ministry should cover all aspects of life and not just the spiritual.
I believe in mentoring. We have so much to give one another and so much to receive from one another. Singles need to recognise that we have different seasons in our lives so there will be different needs depending on the age group. Single women value friendship. Important areas include the sense of identity and worth, the sense of belonging, of being loved, accepted and appreciated. Then there is always the reality of loneliness and the need for meaningful involvements.
On specially meaningful passages of Scriptures
My mission statement: ‘To have an undivided heart (Ps 86:11) and be like Jesus Christ in word and deed.’
• Psalm 5: 3, 7 (The Message)
Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and watch for fire to descend. And here I am, your invited guest – it’s incredible! I enter your house; here I am, prostrate in your inner sanctum.
• Luke 7:36–50
The anointing of Jesus. This is so profound in the context of the male dominated cultures that I have worked in and is beyond my imagination. It is truly inspirational!
• Psalm 84:5–7
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. (I have seen wars and devastation and lots of spring and autumn rains to value the significance). They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
• 2 Chron. 20:12b
Neither know we what to do, but our eyes are upon You. |
